Nick Newman

‘I’ve come as the living dead.’

Party

Nick Newman 1 November 2018 3:00 pm

‘Nope — still can’t see Brexit.’

Mystic

Nick Newman 25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘There’s an outbreak of Mad Human Disease.’

Moospaper

Nick Newman 25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘If there’s global warming then how come there’s a cold war?’

Dunno

Nick Newman 18 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘I don’t care what the sales are so long as they’re healthy.’

Publishing

Nick Newman 18 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘We are innocent Russian tourists on riding holiday, looking forward to a good hack…’

Passport

Nick Newman 11 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘How do you know you don’t like photographing your food if you haven’t tried it?’

Meal

Nick Newman 4 October 2018 1:00 pm

‘The Labour conference is left, left, further left, and then on the far left.’

Left

Nick Newman 27 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Amazon would have delivered your sermon a lot quicker.’

Sermon

Nick Newman 20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Don’t feed the Lib Dems – it just encourages them.’

Rock

Nick Newman 20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘At least it isn’t called All The President’s Women.’

Bob Woodward

Nick Newman 13 September 2018 1:00 pm

Salmond

Nick Newman 6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘With all these sex pests about, I’m not taking any chances.’

Sex pest

Nick Newman 6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘If you want publicity, pay hush money!’

Agent

Nick Newman 30 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘I was present but I was not involved.’

GCSE results

Nick Newman 23 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘Of course seats are expensive: they’re very rare.’

Rail fares

Nick Newman 23 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘It’s outrageous that a real space alien didn’t get the role.’

Cast

Nick Newman 16 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘Boris didn’t have his cake and eat it, but he did take the biscuit.’

Biscuit

Nick Newman 2 August 2018 1:00 pm

Drink

Nick Newman 26 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘Rather than the cliff edge, we decided on a climbdown.’

Lemmings

Nick Newman 26 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘On second thoughts, I’d give the bins a miss.’

Foxes

Nick Newman 19 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘The tension’s unbearable — I can’t bear to watch.’

Kane

Nick Newman 12 July 2018 1:00 pm

Alexa

Nick Newman 5 July 2018 1:00 pm

BMW

Nick Newman 5 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘Panama weren’t very taxing.’

World cup

Nick Newman 28 June 2018 1:00 pm

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