I’m going to pack an umbrella for Venice this week.
Last time I was there, an angry grey sky closed in quickly over the terracotta rooftops. After feeling a few ominous drops, I began to jokingly barter with a Moroccan street vendor for an umbrella. After living in Italy for ten years, I’ve developed a bit of a knack for this style of friendly haggling. He knocked a couple of euros off, and I promptly teased him that I would’ve happily paid full price in the current ‘buyer’s market’.
As the rain began to bounce off the soaked marble pavement of Piazza San Marco, wetting my ankles, I considered myself lucky to have a dry head – but I knew I had made a bad mistake.
The investment for defence against raindrops cost me more than 1.9 per cent of my aperitivo fund. A regrettable but necessary expense, made in desperation. I had no choice.
It would appear that an angry grey sky has closed in over much of the world in recent years, and Albanese – like most global leaders – is also being forced to make tough decisions on allies and investments.
Australia has long been comfortable under America’s military umbrella. Rain or shine, it was always there. But now, in times of Trumpian uncertainty, Australia – much like Europe – is nervously reevaluating.
Albo saw the grey skies and went to China, where my umbrella was made. But I have to warn the Prime Minister: the thing barely lasted the afternoon. Flimsy and sodden, it was unreliable.
Recent research from the Washington-based Pew Center shows that a majority of Australians agree with Albanese and favour a Chinese economic umbrella over an American one. If I may make a gentle suggestion from Europe to both the Australian majority and the Prime Minister: you’re all wrong.
The world is obsessed with what Trump is up to. The flamboyant showman thrives on media coverage, operates reactively, and does it all for the cameras. He once said ‘bad publicity is better than no publicity at all’ – but he may be wrong too.
President Xi, on the other hand, has a more disciplined publicity strategy: state-owned media, disappearing journalists, internet surveillance, and totalitarian control.
But don’t be fooled, Albo. Looking objectively at the two countries, it would seem that The White House, even at its most unreliable and unpredictable, is still better than the CCP. China is committing genocide against the Uyghur Muslims, supplying arms and intelligence to Russia, and is aligned with the Ayatollah in Iran. It’s not exactly the colourful beach umbrella Australia wants to be sitting under.
In the face of democratic uncertainty, surely, we should double down on like-minded partners with whom we share a solid history. Don’t take my word for it – just look at Europe, who strengthened economic ties with their totalitarian neighbour after the Cold War.
Here in Europe, we’ve been struggling for ‘strategic autonomy’ for a few years. While it has been raining heavily (Russian bombs) in neighbouring Ukraine. Germany was forced to scramble to cut its dependence on Nord Stream gas, while Poland is set to spend almost 5 per cent of its GDP on umbrellas under the gloomy grey skies of Eastern Europe.
Nato and the EU are desperately trying to bolster the umbrella for fear that Trump won’t stop the rain – but we are most certainly not looking to the aggressor neighbour for help.
While storm clouds gather around Taiwan and China could invade at any moment, Australia would be left in the same mess as Europe – recklessly reliant on a totalitarian autocracy.
For anyone who wants my Campari-soaked advice – as I sit on my balcony near Verona, watching a storm roll in: Australia should stick close to the evil we know: an old friend, with a solid, reliable, golf umbrella – big enough for all of us if ours gives out.
