Those who know their history will recall the Great Egg Rebellions of Lilliput waged between the Big-Endians who demanded that boiled eggs be cracked at the big end, and Little-Endians who insisted on following the king’s decree to break them at the little end.
Eleven thousand people were said to have died in the whole scrambled mess. ‘What mighty conquests rise from trivial things.’
In the real world, Cornwall and Devonshire have come close to blows over whether the jam or the cream goes on the scone first. And in my own household, a fierce battle continues to wage over the correct way the toilet roll should face. I insist the paper hangs over the top, politely offering the loose end to the bethroned as a butler might. My wife insists the paper hanging down the back is more aesthetic, as it hugs the line of the wall. Amazingly, I can see her point and she mine, although there is no evidence that either of us is willing to bend as – through habit, stubborn refusal, or plain amusement – the paper alternates positions between every visit.
On the matter of scones, I’m in favour of cream first, then a blob of jam on top. I like the sweet hit of the jam at the top of the palette, followed by the counteracting texture of the fluffy cream as you bite through. Madness, says my wife. Cream goes on top of everything! But butter goes on the bottom, I counter. But it’s not butter, she says. You’re insane!
At this point, her incredulity resembles the reactions of many of my friends when I recently posted on social media that I would be voting No in the upcoming referendum on the Voice to Parliament. I expected disagreement, but not the level of sheer disbelief. While some efforts were made towards actual discussion, the general gut response was that I must have been joking, or just being provocative, or stubbornly contrarian, or playing devil’s advocate, or was misinformed, or just ignorant. It seemed difficult for them to grasp that I was offering my well-considered opinion.
Now, the Voice to Parliament is far from a trivial thing. After years of development, consultation, and legal analysis, it should be evident that it’s far more complicated and nuanced than the cream or jam debate, although current polling nonetheless suggests a divide close to the 50-50 split one might expect in the egg debate, with a slight tilt towards the Big-Endian Yes voters. The debate touches on matters of race, history, democracy, government, land, politics, welfare, community, society, and culture. It’s not trivial. And yet so much of the case from the left comes from the emotionally-driven duality of simple right and wrong, that one might as well be arguing about egg-cracking. Little-Endians are racist, unsympathetic bigots. The end.
Thankfully, my friends withheld the crueller accusations, but there was little willingness to discuss my view. Perhaps it’s harder to have good conversations online than in a pub or over dinner, and I just need to get out more. But the crux of my position, I argued, was that I believe the Voice undermines a foundational principle of democracy that I happen to value: one person, one vote, regardless of race, creed, gender or income. Australia is a modern, multicultural democracy that I believe in fighting to protect. Throughout history, good things need to be fought for.
Of course, I am quite willing to hear all manner of counterpoints – although I tend to disengage from abuse, insult, and condescension – but while I felt I could write a book on the matter, I did, at minimum, wish to point out that holding such a position regarding democracy would not have been deemed highly controversial just a few years ago. It is the left who have been most keen to assert that our democracy is under threat. And yet the incredulity! One thing you can be sure of with the Woke is the fun you’ll have trying to keep track of the goalposts.
Government has continued to fail the Indigenous community for decades, they argue. So, one wonders why they would wish to add more of it. And rather than a democratically elected body, the Voice just hands more power to those who have already failed, says democratically elected Senator Jacinta Nampijinpa Price. It is only the Little End of Towners who can ultimately change the lives of Indigenous Australians. The Big-Endians will do what Big-Endians always do, focus more on maintaining and abusing power than driving real change. My Indigenous brother-in-law knows first-hand how it works. He’s seen it happen for years, just more politics, corruption, and power plays. And he laughs at the idea of one, unified voice, as if there is no politics between mobs, or difference of view. Meanwhile the billions thrown at the ‘problem’ disappear before reaching the real people in need, or going towards addressing the real changes that need to happen: the grassroots elevation of people. Like me, he’s voting No.
Few would argue against recognition of Australia’s original inhabitants if it weren’t, in typical political game-playing style, hitched to the Trojan horse of a racially based House of Parliament – watch out next term for the ‘LGBTQuorum’. But surely the Voice is a matter important enough to be open to free and intelligent discussion. The way it is happening at the moment, however, seems like an ominous sign of how it might operate itself. Bullying, intimidation, and isolation of those who don’t back the dominant ‘Voice’. We all know the culprits, from the smallest work meeting to the High Court. That’s why we have democratic votes. Everyone has an equal number of them: one.
A great thing about democracy is that it endeavours to prevent a singular ideological dominance. Bad things happen when singularities form, like Big Bangs, and tyranny. Democracy and freedom of speech put a brake on the tendency to confuse one’s personal values with objective truth. Everything should be up for debate.
Except eggs, of course. Like, seriously, who the heck dunks their toasted soldiers in the big end of an egg?
