Apollo 13, Event Horizon, Bimbo Cheerleaders from Outer Space. Some of the best movies are set in space. A captivating origin story is at the heart of great art, and this new one from Blue Origin might be the next big thing. Imagine it as a movie— it could be a hilarious hit, right up there with Dodgeball as one of Hollywood’s best comedies. While it’s tough to beat Bojack Horseman when it comes to skewering the narcissism of today’s celebrity culture, this one could give it a good run for its money.

It was supposed to be one small step for (wo)man, a giant leap for womankind. In reality, six super-rich and well-connected women blast off into space on a giant phallic rocket funded by a billionaire. To misquote Dr Spock, ‘It’s feminism, Jim, but not as we know it.’

Space. The final frontier. To boldly go where no feminist has gone before. But, in this case, a group of pampered celebrities didn’t so much explore space as embark on a 240-second virtue-signalling journey complete with handstands and screeching before returning to Earth, where they were met with excessive gushing from the media and delivered ridiculous pseudo-spiritual insights on love.

Unless you’ve been living on another planet (and honestly, for this story, I kind of wish I was, just to escape it) the news is that Katy Perry and five other stunning and brave women recently left Earth for a few minutes. The all-female crew; a term used here with some flexibility, recently embarked on Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket, successfully crossing the internationally recognised space boundary known as the Kármán line. It was the first all-female flight in over sixty years, a milestone since Valentina Tereshkova’s more impressive feat of orbiting Earth 48 times during her solo mission, which lasted three days.

They didn’t have to stop to ask for directions or stall the ship. But it was historic for other reasons. Katy Perry became the first woman to unveil her tour setlist in zero-gravity conditions. Whilst on board Perry engaged in some truly inspirational (otherwise known as stupid) things such as presenting a daisy to the camera and serenading the girls with a rendition of Louis Armstrong’s ‘What A Wonderful World’.

Departing from a launch site in West Texas, the singer was accompanied by Lauren Sánchez, Jeff Bezos’ latest chemically enhanced squeeze. Also present on the flight were civil rights activist Amanda Nguyen, CBS News anchor Gayle King, film producer Kerianne Flynn, and rocket scientist Aisha Bowe. Some more cynical than myself may speculate that Bowe’s presence was intended to dispel potential criticism of this as a rich person’s indulgence and serve as an inspiration to young science-minded women. It didn’t turn out that way

Our intrepid explorers did not so much slip the surly bonds of Earth to touch the face of God as take a trip on the world’s most expensive rollercoaster. After eleven gruelling minutes they returned to Earth. Upon exiting the capsule, Perry knelt and kissed the ground. Judging from the reaction of celebrities gathered on the viewing platform, one might be convinced she had endured six months lost at sea and was finally relieved to reach solid ground.

Strangely, this has sparked immense backlash online, with many people not sharing Perry’s sense of inspiration. Glamorous actress and model Emily Ratajkowski slammed the whole thing as a parody, criticising Blue Origin for destroying the planet. In a video posted to TikTok, the popular American star told her followers, ‘It just speaks to the fact that we are absolutely living in an oligarchy… while most of the people on planet Earth are worried about paying rent or having dinner for their kids.’ This woman maintains her sense of reality, in contrast to these six fearless individuals.

Oprah Winfrey bestie Gayle King has since come out and publicly addressed the criticism. The event has garnered praise from some media outlets, but King is frustrated that it has not received the widespread recognition she thinks it merits. To question these intrepid girls is, of course, sexist. In reference to Alan Shepard, King said, ‘Wherever a man goes up, you’ve never said to an astronaut “Boy, what a ride.”’ ‘A ride’, she says, ‘implies that it is something frivolous or something light-hearted.’

A few things, Gayle. Firstly, you are not inspirational. You were part of a glorified PR stunt for space tourism and a pop concert tour. The ‘achievements’ attributed to your journey are primarily the result of the dedicated efforts and technological expertise of skilled mechanics and engineers working behind the scenes. Without them, your glamorous little jaunt wouldn’t have happened. Secondly, you are not an astronaut; Alan Shepard on the other hand, was a distinguished astronaut who became the first American to travel into space and later the fifth man to walk on the moon. What he did was legendary – marked by extensive training and education. In contrast, as detailed by Ariane Cornell from Blue Origin, your training consisted of learning how to board and exit the capsule and putting on and removing seat belts under weightless conditions.

The lack of anything resembling self-awareness, or irony, is lost on King. But she really hits her stride with her finale. To all her critics, she suggests we all take a trip into space! I’m not currently dating a tech billionaire, and don’t have wealthy friends with insider contacts. Looks like space is not meant for plebs like me, right, Gayle?

How does any of this inspire girls? It tells us nothing other than celebrities can buy whatever they like. That fame and attention are worth pursuing over anything meaningful. What exactly is feminist about a gang of entitled rich women flying through the sky in a billion-dollar cock rocket?

Blue Origin wants to take the waste here and devise a way to get rid of it in space. I’d say mission (half) accomplished.