Every year in a sleepy English village in Gloucestershire, there’s a festival where people turn up and chase a wheel of cheese down a hill. Due to the gradient of the hill, there are numerous injuries every year. Last year a Canadian woman won the race, despite finishing unconscious and only finding out her victory in the medical tent. In total six people had to be airlifted to hospital. Said to have its roots in paganism, it’s one of those quaint English festivals that you would see late at night on the History channel.

You may wonder why I am devoting time to discussing a peculiar British pastime when there is so much more happening in the world. Normally, I would concur. However, this emphasises a basic aspect of humanity. One that unfortunately appears to be being regulated out of existence.

Humans like to take risks. As a species, we crave excitement and danger. Although I was in good health at the age of 18, I was also impetuous in my youth. Though I no longer do, thousands of people continue to act in a glaringly reckless manner. Just like those in the South West England village who sign up to chase a four kilogram block of Double Gloucester down a steep hill on a spring bank holiday.

Which brings me nicely to smoking – the most enduring moral panic generator. Don’t get me wrong: making the case that smoking is healthy would require some serious mental gymnastics. About 8 million people worldwide die from diseases linked to tobacco use each year. I used to smoke twenty Marlboros a day, and I always detested the thick smoky atmosphere that came with a night on the town. I recall smelling like I had spent three weeks sleeping in a bonfire when I returned home from the pubs and clubs. So when the British government banned smoking indoors in 2007, I wasn’t particularly bothered. No problem, I thought. We could still go outside to smoke while enjoying our pint.

So, do I support Sir Keir Starmer’s latest proposal to ban smoking in public places like beer gardens? Hell no! It is an illiberal, petty and puritanical idea that epitomises Labour’s worst aspects of big-state paternalism. Let me suggest that Starmer should be more concerned about knife crime and rampant shoplifting, which force businesses to raise prices or close completely.

A ban on smoking indoors had a tangible impact on other people. Rarely does smoking outside affect anyone but the smoker. A brief puff of tobacco will quickly evaporate into the air. Where do you think all these people would go if smoking was banned outside pubs? I’ll tell you. Anywhere but the pub. I would imagine either home or a friend’s house. They’re taking their business with them, along with their Silk Cut. Exactly when thousands of British pubs are closing their doors. In the first quarter of 2024, closures have increased by 51 per cent. Some may argue that drinking alcohol is more harmful than smoking. By that logic should we ban alcohol in pubs? Where are people meant to go to enjoy themselves? Starmer’s vision of a smoke-free society would have its citizens smoking under a blanket while the lights were off, so as to avoid drawing attention from the smoke police.

Britain has been gradually moving toward authoritarian lifestyle regulation. Labour is merely building upon the previous conservative government’s top-down secular evangelism. Prior to stepping down, former prime minister Rishi Sunak announced plans to ban disposable vapes and make it illegal for anyone born after 2008 to purchase cigarettes. Starmer appears to be about to impliment the policy.

New Zealand gave up on it because it was such a dumb idea. A wide range of policies were included in the proposal submitted by the Labour government of Jacinda Ardern to reduce smoking’s accessibility and affordability. Regarding attempting to make cigarettes more expensive, consider the effect of Australia’s ‘slow euthanasia’ policy regarding tobacco. The government increased tobacco taxes by 25 per cent in 2010 instead of raising them in line with inflation. Over the next ten years, that duty rose by 12.5 per cent per year. Australia is the most expensive country in the world to smoke. Currently, duty is two-thirds of a pack of twenty Marlboro Reds, which cost A$49.99 – almost double the price in Britain. Australians are shifting to less expensive, illicitly imported brands. It has sparked a conflict between rival organised crime gangs vying for control of the lucrative black market for tobacco. According to the Sunday Times, over one billion cigarettes, worth $1.1 billion in lost taxes, have been seized by Australian Border Force and Federal Police in the last two years.

Just as with our relentless push to ban ‘offensive’ words from usage, both online and offline, the attempt to enact laws restricting personal freedom and enjoyment is replete with full-blown hypocrisy. If you light up a cigarette in a pub garden, as millions of people have done for centuries, you will be ostracised, but you are welcome to shoplift a bottle of vodka and pour it down your throat to your heart’s content on the way home.

Although I’m no libertarian, I think freedom is important. To put it simply, we need to be given the freedom and chance to make our own decisions and errors, as well as the ability to freely express ourselves. If that means puffing on a cigarette, so be it.

From the beginning of time, rebels, mavericks and revolutionaries have built empires and civilisations. These are bold, ambitious, and brave individuals who, frequently against the will of others, altered the course of history and put the world on the path to economic prosperity. A strong and deep appetite for risk motivated all these people. Consider Elon Musk. In the last twenty years, he has founded two of the most significant companies in the world thanks to his penchant for making audacious gambles and his fierce brand of self-belief.

If we want Britain to prosper, let the people smoke outdoors.