Ah, Australia. The land of sun, surf, and … taxation that would make even the most die-hard Balmain or Brunswick socialist blush. There’s this quaint notion floating around that Aussies don’t really pay all that much in taxes. ‘Fair share’, and all that blather. The government, bless their hearts, wants you to believe that you’re only forking over a modest portion of your pay.
Well, mate, I hate to burst your bubble, but that’s a load of kangaroo dung. The truth is, when you tally all the taxes, levies and excises, you’re handing over almost half your hard-earned money to the taxman – yeah, from Monday to Thursday lunchtime, you ‘work for’ the government!
Meet Our Heroine: The Average Aussie Sheila
Picture this: our protagonist is an Australian woman earning the average wage of $90,000 a year. She’s not exactly living the high life, mind you – just your typical existence, scraping by from one pay to the next. Every month, she dutifully shells out $7,500 on rent, groceries, petrol, insurance, and other expenses. Part of that is a healthy $850-a-month habit of boozy backyard parties and social outings – because, let’s face it, when you’re getting taxed to death, you might as well pickle yourself like you’re already there.
Oh, and did I mention she’s accumulated a $47,000 university debt hanging around her neck like a dead albatross? Thank you, HELP Repayment Hotline, for the gentle reminder that her degree was supposed to give her a salary-amplifying education, repaid over the course of a lifetime, one reality-checking deduction at a time.
But our gal has a hobby, too. She’s into restoring antique furniture, a charming little pastime that would be more lucrative if the government didn’t take a cut every time she tried to advance herself by making a – trigger warning, toxic word – profit. Last year, she bought and sold a couple of antique desks, netting herself a tidy little gain. Of course, the taxman was right there, waiting to swipe his share of that too.
She sold some NRMA shares she was given and bought some clothes from overseas on Amazon.
Nothing unusual to see here.
The Grand Tax Racket
Let’s break down exactly how much of our heroine’s income is siphoned off by the various layers of government. Here’s the opening gambit for you: out of her $90,000 annual salary, she pays $19,717 in income tax alone. That’s already a solid chunk of change gone before she even gets to spend a cent on living.
But wait, there’s more! The untouchable 2 per cent Medicare Levy clips her for another $1,800. And because the government thinks it’s a good idea for everyone to get a degree in eco-feminist vegan ethics or whatever, she’s on the hook for $6,300 in HELP repayments. Let’s not forget the 10 per cent Goods and Services Tax (GST), which hoovers up another $7,028 of her cash because, apparently, existing is a taxable offence.
Still following? Good, because now we get into the nitty-gritty. Her fuel habit – just getting from Point A to Point B – costs her $878.40 in excise, and those boozy shindigs just to cope with the taxman’s oppression? That’s another $4,080 in alcohol excise over a year, proving that even in a country known for its beer-swilling, the government’s got its hand in your esky.
Then there’s the capital gains tax on her aspirational little side hustle with antique furniture, which soaks up $1,992.88 of her profits. Oh, and those NRMA shares she sold? Another $390 down the drain. And let’s not forget the $37.50 customs duty she got slapped with for daring to buy something from Amazon.
The Road to Modern Serfdom
So, what’s the grand total, you ask? Try $42,223.78 in taxes. That’s right, our average Aussie woman is handing over 47 per cent of her income to the government. If that doesn’t make your blood boil, you’re probably on the Australian Taxation Office’s SES Band 2 payroll at $337,000.
Don’t check my maths. I’m drunk in sympathy with her just writing this. ‘Capital gains are on top of her salary so…’ is just blah, blah, blah at this point.
If you’re the type to think that way, you’re probably about to parrot the government line, ‘That’s just the price we pay for living in a civilised society.’ But here’s the rub – half of everything you earn is taken from you, without so much as a thank you. That’s not just taxation, that’s something akin to slavery.
Need proof? Look back at history, my friend. During the earliest days of the Colony of Virginia during the 1600s, there were three slavish tiers of the underclass working the tobacco plantations. Fun names too: slaves, indentured servants and tenants. From the fruits of their hard labour, slaves kept nothing for their entire lives, indentured servants kept nothing for a fixed term of 4 or 7 years, and tenants kept half. Yes, barely a level above slave and indentured servants, tenants were forced to work for their masters without pay for half of their time. In exchange, they got food, shelter, and a few beatings. Today, we get healthcare, question time in Parliament, and a lifetime paying off student debt. Progress!
So, the next time someone tells you Australians pay a ‘fair share’ in tax, show them the actual numbers. Better yet, buy them a drink with the money you have left – if you can afford it. And as you clink glasses, remember that half of that beer belongs to the ATO.
Cheers to modern-day serfdom!
Kenelm Tonkin is the Founder of Liberty Itch.
