A letter from the governing class, to the people:

We, the governing class, would like sit down and have an honest chat about where our great country is going and answer damaging claims being made by others about the direction we are taking…

Repeated allegations that Liberal and Labor have become virtually indistinguishable are not relevant, nor does it matter that the Nationals and Greens act as their appendages. In the end, these once proud political entities work hard to provide us, the governing class, with new recruits for the system.

Having election campaigns financed by taxpayers has given us legislative control and rendered party organisations obsolete. All new members of our governing class who make it into our ranks are set for a life of privilege and comfort out of reach for most in the real world.

The governing class no longer has to compete for issues along party lines except to maintain the charade of Parliament for the plebs.

Our achievements are many.

We have almost won the war to de-industrialise Australia and undermine the society that you and your forebears built.

Parliament is a rubber stamp for our whims. We are united as globalists and we invite you, the people, to embrace the new world order we are shaping for you, whether you like it or not.

As intellectually and morally superior globalists, we are proud of what we have done. No more will Australia be comprised of pesky patriotic nationalists. No longer will we put Australia first. Rather, we must put the poor of the world first.

Let us do a little boasting. Hear us out, and you will understand not only the internationalist future we have planned, but also that further resistance is futile.

To succeed in our 2030 goals, we had to destroy capitalism by making it the enemy of the people. This was done covertly by utilising the power of the United Nations, infiltrating universities, corrupting mainstream communications, and entering political parties.

The weapons we created were fashioned from the demonisation of energy (hydrocarbon fuels), nuclear power, hydropower (by amusingly claiming they stopped the rivers from ‘running free’), and the promotion of alternative, expensive fake power sources in the form of some seriously outrageous ideas that we marketed as ‘clean energy’.

‘Privatisation’ of basic services such as power, water, and gas came as the first step. We discovered, ‘privatisation’ proved to be a useful word to obscure the creation of ‘monopolies’. This situation has been working out great for us.

With overwhelming support from the media and Green activists, we have all of Australia’s governments implementing our agenda. We were surprised how easy it was to convince people to part with their money to build unreliable wind farms and solar-powered shadow grids (that are so useless their output is reduced by up to 80 per cent by just a layer of dust – and we went ahead and built them in deserts!).

We did a little bit of extra work and linked reliable energy to global warming. It did not matter when the global climate refused to get hotter, we adroitly switched the bogeyman’s label to ‘Climate Change’ so that no matter what happened, we were right.

Our propaganda machine is so polished that we have convinced most people that we working in the interests of the greater good. With the media, academics, and my fellow politicians in lustful agreement, we cannot lose public popularity. If we encounter a serious opponent – a particularly witty cartoonist, say – we can use the courts or Australian Human Rights Commission to persecute any dissenters.

All that is left if for you, the people, to accept that we are doing this for your own good.

Even when a few troublesome ministers work against our objectives, we always find ways to humble them. After all, there is nothing like a hippy in a koala costume to scare your more querulous politician into voting against the common good.

Of all our achievements, the closure of the last coal-fired station in SA and the Hazelwood power station in Victoria makes us particularly proud. What a win we had over the old conservatives! Here we would be remiss not to thank our schools and educators, who have done so much to make sure children know what to think, not how to think. 

As a reward for presiding over our kids dropping ever further down the international rankings for educational achievement, we have recently given our state schools billions of extra dollars. The achievement-driven and reliable Catholic School system can obviously do with less.

Just a couple of decades ago you would have thought that our other goal of food-rationing was an impossibility. Bugs? No one would even think of eating them while Australia remained a massive exporter of primary produce. Today, our dreams of permanent shortages are approaching reality.

Australia has so many marine parks that nearly 70 per cent of seafood is imported despite being an island continent surrounded by water. If anyone wonders why that should be the case, one of our tame, grant-lavished academics starts yelling that the Great Barrier Reef is almost dead. This helps kill the overseas tourist trade as well.

Our marketing team has successfully promoted the idea that Australia’s future is one that flip-flops between flood and drought caused by ‘Climate Change’. This should have been an easily exposed fiction in Dorothea Mackellar’s ‘land of droughts and flooding rains’, but the fiction that the dams would never fill again served our purpose well. State governments squandered billions of dollars on useless, unnecessary, and now-mothballed desalination plants. Our union mates loved that one. Well done, bruvvers, for all that featherbedding and all those eight-figure cost overruns.

The aim of our governing class has always been to break the back of Australia by simultaneously using multiple strategies to attack the basis of culture, national pride, and unity. These strategies are well advanced and I would love to show you how clever we elites are compared to you, but I will not give away too many secrets.

We took over Australia and you did not even notice until it is now too late.

We look smart and believe we are, but it was only possible because you were complacent.

On behalf of the governing class, thank you for your compliance.