- You have a penchant for Tolstoy, but never got around to reading War and Peace. Now you can devour this 1,225-page novel at your leisure while waiting in the charging queue.
- You’ve dined at them all. Aria. Bennelong. Quay. Yet you’ve never experienced dining at the local servo. No, it’s not just chocolate bars and chips on the menu. Once you finish War and Peace, you can peruse the finer things that petrol stations have to offer. Think Slurpees, gristly meat pies, and try-hard coffee. Who knows, you may be lucky enough to have breakfast and lunch there depending on the length of the charging queue. YOLO.
- You have a guilty pleasure and no, you’re not Bill Gates and it’s not private jets. You like to heat your garage in winter. Think how toasty you’ll feel when you step into your garage that’s been heating all night because electric cars, just like you, do not like cold weather. Myev.com offers the suggestion that parking your car in a heated garage will ensure your electric car works well. Synergy.
- You’re not sure what you enjoy more, the adventure of hitchhiking or sitting alone in your car on a deserted country road awaiting the NRMA as your car has run out of charge. Electric cars need to charge frequently. So if you’re going on a long journey, there’s a chance you may not make it to the next electric vehicle charging station. This is where War and Peace also comes in handy.
- You have a longing for Victorian times and it’s not just the taxidermy and corsets. Children learned the value of money in those times. Maybe sending them down a coal mine wasn’t ideal but better than being stuck up a chimney and having someone light a fire. Child slave labour is alive and well today in Africa where children are used to mine cobalt by hand in order to produce the 60 pounds of cobalt needed for one EV battery.
- You are a closet Goth (Vic lit). Blackouts all the way. Cold baths and cockroach milk too.
- Coal mining is so pre-Covid. Now it’s lithium, cobalt, graphite, aluminium all the way. A single EV battery needs 30 pounds of lithium, 60 pounds of cobalt, 130 pounds of graphite, and roughly 500 pounds of steel aluminium, manganese, plastic, and other materials. Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy.
- You’ve always wanted to live in a permanent Disneyland – believing that electric cars have zero emissions. California awaits.
- Virtue signalling has become an obsessive pastime. You now have the Tesla logo in your profile along with six needles and a Ukrainian flag.
- Anything a diesel Mercedes C220 D can do your Tesla Model 3 can do better i.e. emit 11 – 28 percent more CO2 over a lifespan of the Mercedes.
- You live in a Teal seat. When electricity prices reach $1 per kWh as they are set to do in Norway, it’s nothing to spend $100 to fully charge your car as long as you can wear Teal and drive a Tesla. You know you are one cool dude. Go on post that seventh needle in your profile.
- You care about first-world countries and believe that it’s important to keep the pollution emissions away from them and ensure that it’s the third-world countries that are exposed to higher rates of toxic substances needed to make the batteries the EVs.
- You’re a great delegator and will happily delegate power regarding your movements to the government. Of course, they should be allowed to turn your car off at any time because Science.
- You’ve always wanted to work for MI5 and have one of those tracking device thingies like James Bond. (Plus you’re so glad 007 is a woman now. Hopefully they will be Trans soon and driving a Tesla, like you.)
- You’ve always had a soft spot for China and think it’s important to contribute to their economy. After all, China processes 40 per cent of the world’s raw lithium and their market share for lithium is 80 per cent.
- You don’t actually know how an EV charges and where the coal-fired electricity comes from. It’s battery operated and that’s all that matters.
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